'nother picture

See? Relaxed.

Weekend at the beach

God has blessed me with a wonderful family.

And this weekend David treated me, Justin, Sadie, Lynnea, Garret, and Troy to a weekend at the beach in a rented beach house. It was an amazing time of battery re-charging and time to just be with and enjoy the kids. It didn't hurt my feelings that I did NO cooking and very little else that could be considered work. This was a refreshing time and I soaked up every minute.

David colored a Barbie picture, which I believe would be a "first" for him. We hunted for shells, fed seagulls, had a fire in the stove, played a bug family game in several versions, ate huge amounts of wonderful food, and just had a really great time. I am thankful to have the pictures to remember this by. These kinds of weekends have come very rarely, but we are working on making that not the case. I crave family time, and I am working toward that goal.

Seriously - the dog is farting toxic waste. I think I can actually see it in the air.

Ew.


My Laura, while I was gone, made my bed, vacuumed my bedroom, cleaned my bathroom, kept the whole house (which she had cleaned) neat, and ran and unloaded the dishwasher. BLESS HER LITTLE HEART!

I don't mind that I have to work at the store tomorrow. I feel so re-charged and ready to go. The sea air - it does something to your brain. And when you get to eat like we did, it does something to your pant size. No, I mean it energizes your whole self.

I want a beach cabin.

I'm going to work on that too.

;-)

Love and hugs


AND you Bothell-ites who were here while we were gone - COME BACK now that we're back!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!

Seeing through a blur

So Sunday morning I wake up after a fitful night and my head is in so much pain that I can't even believe it. Within half an hour I have my head in a bucket. Migraine. Nice way to wake up.

But it gave way to the post-migraine euphoria, which is sort of a nice reward for weathering a migraine, I guess. I found myself looking out the sliding glass doors admiring everything and feeling so blessed to live in this green place. I didn't even think about it being migraine euphoria until I talked to my sister today. It goes fairly "text book" for me. Visual interference, (which didn't matter since it was night, and I was trying to sleep but kept moaning) amazingly intense pain, and vomiting. I sat in Laura's bathroom trying to decide what the heck was going on, but the pain was blinding and basically left me stupid so I just put the dog outside and got a bucket. The rest is history.

Later we shaved the dog. Now she has that hilarious look of an abnormally small head on a gigantic barrel-shaped body, but she's happy and bouncy. It took us four hours to shave her. Two adults. Four hours. One dog. A garbage can literally FULL of fur.

We saved $80 by shaving her ourselves. Yeah, she's THAT big.

Today I worked at the store, although I deeply desired a day off. So many little fires to put out. Anthony is working out nicely, but he's still too new to dump 100% of the responsibilities on so there we found ourselves for the entire day...

We have rented a beach house for Thursday through Saturday night, in Sequim. I don't know who will mind the store on Saturday. That worries me somewhat, but I know that I need this long weekend more than anything right now, to avoid more migraine awakenings. I am so far beyond tired that it is a dim black spot in my rearview mirror.

Did you know coffee could grow hair?

Neither did I.

But tonight I collected 13, yes THIRTEEN, glasses and mugs from Laura's room. One of them was nearly full of what probably used to be coffee with cream, and it was sporting a head of hair two to three inches tall. I left that one for her. I was getting low on glasses and mugs, and figured that I'd learn why if I looked in her den. So sue me.

The rest, the ones without hair, I rinsed out and they are happily bathing in the dishwasher now. Some took some urging, like.... scraping... to get the scum rings off. Some had little green floaties. Some, THANKFULLY, only held water.

I have to confront someone this week.

I hate that.

But it falls to me because he trusts me, and we have an understanding. So what I have to say will be easier to hear because he knows I respect him. Still; there is nothing harder for me than confrontation. I'd rather let a person walk all over me, yell at me, and use me until my life's blood is in short supply. Several of you know this is the absolute truth. Confront. It's a rude word. I have to have a discussion. Point some things out. Offer a solution, and then offer consequences if the solution is rejected.

Sarah May sent a letter, and it arrived today. Her little personal note to me was very precious. I love that girl. But that is a well-known fact. God Himself smiled as he dropped her into my arms one day. "Here. Love this one." And oh, yes, I do.

So tomorrow I work 4pm to 10pm at the State Patrol, and I will HAVE to come into our store for.... my confrontation.... and to take care of some business. We're getting an account with GE so that I can order parts from the factory - DIRECT. That will save money, but the application is 3 pages long. I have to do it. A customer is waiting for a replacement part on a VERY expensive oven.

It has to be done so that I can order the part on Wednesday, and go on our trip Thursday with a clear mind. Clear and Mind don't usually go together for me...

I smelled dog poop all day today. It was discouraging.

Our store business has just REALLY picked up lately. I love that. AND AND AND we just got confirmation that two of the suppliers that we have been romancing are indeed going to sell to us which means................ oh my goodness this is exciting...... we can branch out into higher end products and have a whole other market open up. JUST IN TIME, a new directory comes out in June and we have a 1/4 page ad. It goes to all the doctors, medical offices, and hospitals in the greater Seattle area. YEAH BABY.


No, no, I'm not excited at all.

I am beyond tired.

I think Anthony, our new repair tech/sales person/delivery guy, is really a Hubbbart in disguise. He has Hubbart humor if ever there was such a thing. Goodness. He either cracks me up completely, or has me rolling my eyes and looking for some place to hide.

He is a BLESSING from God as well.

Life is interesting, tiring, and very, very good.

Be safe.

Be warm and well.

Be sure to come and see Mom Shap if you can.

Too tired to post

I had great intentions of posting an interesting blog tonight. After working at the store, then coming home to the discouraging sink filled with dishes and house in chaotic mess, I cannot spend more time here.

I am limping to bed, exhausted. But it was a good day.

The house looks and smells appropriate now.

Daniel rescued us today, and I owe him eternal thanks.

You know how sometimes someone offers to help you, then when you ask them they just shrink into the shadows... well, Daniel did not do that. Instead, against his little cute will, he was dragged from warm blankets into the bleak and cold day to help David with an appliance delivery early this morning. My couches induce sleep. David intruded into that sleep by waking young Daniel.

He rocks.

Daniel - you, my friend, rock.

And you are a real person with real stuff. But you rock. Mom Shap thanks you from the bottom of my heart.

I may be just a BIT blurry of judgement. But I do love me some my Daniel. He respects and cares for my only Laura. He is too cute for words to describe. And he helps me.

I will tell the details of my interesting day later. Now I crave sleep. I actually HEAR the bed calling me.

Much love and hugs to all.

Mom Shap

Heart break and brain fog

Her first ever email was to me.

Amazing, humbling, and I don't know if I can take it.

Poor little, amazing little, strong little abused thing.

But I also have brain fog because I worked 10 hours at the State Patrol today, working Everett and oh my. Brain fog.

But.

Her first email was to me.

And I am honored.

More later.

BBQ at the end of a long day

We wanted the store to pick up. Well, it did, and boy did it when it did!

Since Brandon, our delivery guy, decided to go AWOL, then submit a chicken hand-written resignation after a week, David has been stuck with the deliveries. Today was some kind of a record. He had six deliveries and two service calls. As it turns out, there was a map mixup and he went to Renton when the delivery was north Seattle. But those things sometimes happen. I don't know who made the error. I didn't make that particular map.

Anyway, Laura, Stephanie, Kendal, Daniel, Josh, David (Sparky) and a guy whose name I have forgotten are here. The unknown name guy has a great accent. He thinks It's weird that I use canning jars for drinking glasses. They had marinated steak, barbequed, and fried rice with Canadian Bacon, and Oriental cabbage salad. Everybody was very happy, and they didn't care that I worked too late to have any dessert but oreos. They all like oreos, you know.

I worked from 9am to 5:30 today at the store. GREAT sales day, but poor David. He didn't get home until nine something. 13 hour work day for him.

Tomorrow is day 6 for me, and my little "Friday". I passed "tired" a long time ago. Time for bed. I'm so tired I feel cold. That can't be good. And I have to work at 8am. So woo.

Sunday's coming!

And it is quite the Sunday. A very significant day. It's THE day that gives us eternal hope. THE day. So welcome, Sunday. Resurrection Sunday. I hope you will all find a place that teaches the only Truth so that you can absorb the significance of what was done for you.

Bed. Now. Jeans tomorrow, and maybe I can get something to wear for church on Sunday after work tomorrow. David and I get off work at the same time. OH YEAH David has a trainee arriving tomorrow morning to work with him! Yeah baby. I'm hoping Sean works out well. I have a feeling he will. I call him Casper. Long story.

AND I also forgot

My only Sarah May called me yesterday. Hearing her voice is like hearing rain on wind chimes.

My heart was lifted.

She is well.


She is looking forward to her 2nd ever Easter basket, which is on its way.

And I get to be Mother Bear.

My dear Sarah May. What God is doing in your life.

OH I forgot

So I made cream of potato soup for the girls when I finally got home. I made it with vegitarian vegetable broth rather than chicken broth, in Elizabeth's honor. Well, it was sooooo good that both girls way, WAY overate. The amount should have easily been enough for two dinners. NOT tonight. One large bowl for Daniel remains. Wow. They both had stomach aches and felt sick (wonder why) after dinner. I told Daniel he better hurry and grab that soup before they eat it tomorrow.

My boys aren't going on tour, lack of funds is the reason, but we are still BBQing on Friday night. YEAH BABY.

Well, that's sort of over

The hot-headed delivery guy who has been AWOL since last Wednesday, has officially quit. None too soon, as I interviewed his possible replacement today.

He turned in his keys, his credit cards, and his cell phone, and left a letter, all in the mailbox at the store. At least in the letter he thanked me for "always being there" for him. That was sweet. I have a letter in my mind to give him, too, and I'm not sure yet if I will write it or just speak it to him.

Firstly, I am sad to see him go. Yes, that's stupid. On a deep momly level, I am very sad to see him go. It was always so happy when that kid bounced into the store and yelled "HI MOM". But he's also very troubled, and it was only a matter of time before there was some kind of altercation. I had already warned him that if he ever struck out at anyone as he had the previous owner, he would go directly to jail. I had no problem with that at all. Like a difficult child, he was sometimes charming, sometimes impossible, and often out of control.

After sad, I am excited. I can see how the store can operate efficiently without such a headstrong and "me first" person driving OUR, yes OUR, truck.

The guy I interviewed today seems absolutely perfect. But I think he needs more than such a tiny store can offer. I hope he takes a chance on us and lets us sort of move him along as the store moves along. He'll start small, but know that he will prosper as we prosper. I can only hope. And pray. Pray mostly. I need to quit my other job so I can be there more. BUT, Catch-22 style, quitting WSP is shooting myself in the foot. HOWEVER, when the Wenatchee house gets rented, it will bring in more than I'm bringing in now.

Ah, me. The turmoils of life.

The little weasel guy who delivered several appliances over the weekend screwed up. He gave us 6 appliances, and another appliance store reported 6 appliances stolen. Hmm. What are the odds this is coincidental? So we called the police. They took a report, and the other store owner, who was there to ID the stuff, totally irritated both SPD officers. It was mildly amusing. Our repair guy was pretty sure this guy was dealing in stolen goods. It is a cooperative effort between him and some guys who own a truck. He doesn't have a truck, so he needs them. The appliances he brought us match the items I mentioned that I had customers looking for. But I don't think my customers want stolen goods. I know I don't! Back they went, and I stopped payment on the check, and all's well that ends.

I only wish I'd gotten weasel's license plate. I do have his name, and gave a good description to SPD. He's been through the system, so it shouldn't be hard to track him down.

They also have his cell number. And while he may be a little fish, bigger fish feed him, so this could be fun for the police.

Elizabeth came and helped me at the store today. She cleaned appliances. She shined 'em up real nice. :-)

So Brandon is gone.

He reminds me SO much of another who seems to be gone. He wants and needs momming in the worst way, and gave me all his baggage to help with, but he cannot be fenced, and so he walked away. He won't find it any easier to submit to another authority, and I can BET that new employer will not give him orange juice when he has a cold, or make him ham sandwiches.

The best to you, Brandon. Self-proclaimed beaner boy in the beanie. Here's to laughing so hard you drop the handtruck, and here's to ice cold Pepsi and a mom-made sandwich keeping you company in your (our) truck. You'll find that life really doesn't get much better than that. I am sorry, but it was impossible not to fall for you. You stole my heart. You nearly ruined us, but you stole my heart. The oven door you broke while angry with David cost me $179. I will cry when I see you and tell you goodbye. Deal with it.

Late, quick post

Hi all. Great day at work, the ten hours pretty much flew by, partly because I brought a new game to work. 'Fact or Crap'. It's fun. Try it.

This evening Laura and Elizabeth pitched in and the three of us cleaned the house QUICKLY and happily. YES.

The girls found an apartment. Not thrilled, but okay, I guess the nest will in fact be empty before the end of the month. Whatever. Yeah I'm bummed, but I'm also a little excited for them.

Laura also dyed my hair and gave me a back rub tonight. It was surprising, wonderful, and relaxing. Yeah, I'll miss her. She was basically in terminally sweet mode tonight.

How the clean fades in a few moments.... like the making of frozen pizza. But ok. I can fix it tomorrow. The toilets are nice, and they didn't get pizza'd.

We watched Pink Panther.

Tired now.

Oh, and Brandon, our delivery guy, hasn't called or shown up to work since last Tuesday. SO... the job is open as far as I'm concerned. The locks will be changed this week.

Interesting.

Weird.

Must go to bed.

Love,
Me

Do I see a jail tatoo?

So this seedy little character shows up at the store on Friday, with a brand new refrigerator that's been manhandled and sprayed with some of that orange paint used to mark abandoned cars. I paid him $100 for it, which is what he wanted, knowing I could clean it up and replace a wheel and get $300 easily. Which I did, the next day. But that's beside the point. Where did this greasy little man get the fridge? And where does he propose to get the other appliances he wants to sell me? He won't say. This makes me very suspicious. He came back later on the same day with a nice little freezer, which I offered $60 for knowing full well it's also probably worth 3 times that much. For the price of a little cleaning. Still, this nagging feeling that I may be accepting property of questionable origin...

You meet all sorts of people in this business.

I'm not stupid, and I'm doing my background work on this guy.

Today is my one day off, and I'm really stalling at getting things done. I did pack Sarah May's Easter boxes and I'll be driving downtown to mail those shortly. Or sometime. Hopefully shortly. She'll get new undies and socks and lots of toys and candy. I don't think she reads this, so it should be okay.

Got an email back from little girl lost, who says she does love God and asks him for guidance all the time. What needs to happen is the whole "convincing of sin" thing, and her huge blue eyes to suddenly snap open. No, God isn't the loving Grandpa in the sky waiting for our slightest need to be expressed. No, God isn't opening the gates of heaven for all the "good" people who we love to say are in a "better place" no matter what their spritual condition when they died. Sin is real. Falling short is real. The plan of salvation is real. There is, in fact, an alternate destination after life here is done.

Speaking of death; an old friend from our church in California breathed her last this morning. Another cancer fighter who set down her sword and walked into heaven. I know she walked into heaven, because she had been bought with a price and had accepted the sacrifice Christ made in her behalf. She had a testimony of faith and she stayed positive right until the end. She knew that she was dying, and she was torn between staying with those she loved, and going to Him she loved more. In the end, in God's timing, she wasn't left to make the choice. I was happy to hear that the video I'm putting a link to below gave her a great laugh, and broke the tension for a while. Check it out:

http://www.ship-of-fools.com/Signs/movies/pitch_tent.wmv

Just copy and paste that in your browser address field. It had us all just rolling on the floor. Poor guy.

God has a sense of humor.

I hope you do too. It makes life so much better.

I don't know if this week will end...

Hi. Yes, you.

It's nearly 9pm, and I worked all day at our store. It was a $1000 day. Yeah baby. David and Kirby had to do the deliveries and pick ups, as Brandon is ill. He didn't call in ill, but he didn't call in or show up well, either. And he didn't call in for tomorrow so we are operating on the assumption that he will not be in. It is okay, even MORE than okay. If not quite well, we are certainly doing well. It's amazing how quickly the pick ups and deliveries actually got done today. David had time to go to the supplier and shop in a leisurely fashion. I had time to sell a LOT of things.

But then when the day is "over" you find it is most certainly not over at all. Instead there is dinner to fix, dishes to do, 5 water bowls for the animals that need washing, a litter box to empty, rugs to vaccuum, laundry to do, bathrooms to restock with fresh towels, a squirrel feeder to re-fill, and the list goes on. But I'm almost done. So I sit and type to you.

Got a couple of interesting emails today. Re-connected with a young girl I knew for a short time. Seems she's pregnant, perhaps "again", but this time there is a sex and name and due date. So we chatted back and forth for a bit. I explained the difference between walking in God's light and plan, and walking in sinful flesh, and that basically everything sinful people do in their sinful flesh is sinful, so there's not a lot of difference or hope there. But some sins carry different consequences, such as unmarried women being pregnant or sick with an STD. However God is greater than our sin and really does have an amazing plan to forgive and clean us up. I told her that my function has been to accept and love kids, and not to beat them over the head with a holy stick. On the other hand, if someone claims to be a "Christian" and yet walks in blatant and obvious sin, Christians are advised to avoid contact with them. We are never told to avoid contact with sinners. Just sinners who claim to be believers. Or true (?) believers who, despite the urging of the Holy Spirit within, keep walking in sin. We are told not to have them in our home, and not to sit down to eat or drink with them. So, since she never claimed to be a believer, I can love and accept her while hating her lifestyle of fornication, lying, stealing, etc. I am not quite sure how she took the love you hate your lifestyle comment. I left out the fornication and other things I just named. For one thing, she wouldn't understand that particular word, and for another, what's the point? The Holy Spirit is the one who convicts and convinces. Moms just make cookies and shake their heads. Oh, yeah, the reason I wrote to her was to ask the location of a certain blanket which holds great meaning for me. Last she knew it was tucked away in a closet, perhaps forgotten. That's so sad. But that's life.

Greg was here just a short time, and left quietly without text messaging his mother. This is SO not good. But it was nice to be able to feed him and love him for a short time. Now Elizabeth is here, having moved in for a while. This is SO good. She came down and joined me at the store today, and we did job searches and I helped her with a job application. She got me a Starbucks. Double. I was very energetic today. She put her food in the fridge, her clothes in the guest room, and settled in comfortably. I love me some my Ert.


Looks like I'll work 6 days straight. Two 10-hour shifts at WSP, one Monday and one Saturday. All the days between are spent at the store, from 9am to 6pm. Wowzers. Lotsa hours.

So now I need to check the dryer and finish the laundry if possible. I am ready to cash in my chips and fall asleep but I can't just yet.

Oh yeah and clean towels. In the girls' bathroom. Yes they are big girls. But I'm still me.

Love and kisses.

Who will she show it to?

She landed in unfamiliar territory, on Wednesday, and she greeted it wide-eyed and terrified. She wanted to go "home", which is a relative term for her. Tears came.

Within 24 hours, she decided that she would actually rather stay. The people in this new place were friendly and quite safe. Maybe they were even interesting, and amusing. By Saturday, she was plotting how she could return, and urging time to pass slowly so that she could stay longer.

Her life up to this point has been pain-filled and confusing. She's lived through more in her fifteen years than most kids will have seen even as they turn twenty, and most fortunate kids will never see at all... She is living in a safe place now, but still she hides behind a shy smile, forcing words to remain unsaid. They might be wrong. Oh the painful messages "mom" has given her. Oh the damage those words have done, along with wrongs too horrible to mention. Why, why do people trample on treasures like her?

She tells me that she wants to look her age, rather than the 19, or even 20-something people mistake her for. Genes and body build make this a challenge. She has the weathered look of a stressful childhood, but she is beautiful beyond a doubt. I guessed, upon meeting her, that she was Native American. She is, partly. Partly something else. Completely acceptable. She shyly asks me if I could have Laura help her. Maybe with hair.

Laura's heart is touched, and she will do what she can.

The food here is to her liking. So is the large TV, to which she holds the remote whenever she wants to. She stays up as long as she likes, and has access to the whole house. I see her face relax.

Laura does not go to work Friday, and she takes this sweet girl to the mall to do 15-year-old things which include Starbucks. But Friday night is what she's really waiting for. There is a concert in Kirkland, and she and I are going. We'll see 'Endeavor', and since she's had the CD for several weeks, she knows the songs. Since Laura introduced her to all but one of the guys this day, she'll know and recognize them, and they will recogninze her. This will be a FUN night.

We get a little lost on the way, and as I find my way there she announces "You're funny". Yeah, well. We can't all be completely sane. The venue is perfect. The crowd is just big enough to get the concert experience. Four bands, five dollars. Thank you, God, for landing me in Seattle. We sit on bar stools and feel the pounding of the bass in our chests. I teach her about toilet paper stand-ins for ear plugs. She asks for water, and I get her an ice cold bottle. The look of happiness on her face is worth far more than I could ever hope to spend tonight.

Endeavor takes the stage, and she leans in. We both clap at the right time during 'Cacophony', and this makes her laugh. Afterward, she shyly chooses a black tee shirt that she would like to have. Is there a question that she will have this?

The Endeavor guys greet her, and she's pleased. A short, fat pirate sort of girl approaches Daniel and wants an autograph and picture, as far as I can tell. Reason? Because "you're hot" she says to him. My guest looks at me with definite amusement and shock. "That's DANIEL!", she whispers. Yes, I know. I know what she's thinking. But it's okay; Laura would find it funny too.

The last band is ready to play, and she decides to stand within just a few feet of the stage. Ok, I think... but there we are. And she's so happy. She takes in the mosh pit, the oddly dressed kids, and the rich sounds. She confides to me that the lead singer is good, as is one guitarist, but the guitarist on the right is "NOT good. Not at all."

On the way home, she and I have a deep conversation about all sorts of things. I encourage her that one day, maybe a ways in the future, she will understand why she was given this life. One day she will embrace one who is hurting and be able to honestly say "I know." I tell her that she is strong, and smart, and will never hurt people as she has been hurt. My heart literally feels ripped as I listen to this young woman, and wish I could make it all okay.

The next morning she shows me that she still has the stamp, and tells me she intends to keep it right there. She will proudly show it off at school.

But who will she show it to?

She says she has no friends. This makes me ache inside. I pray that God will send her true and pure friends. That He draws her to His side and that she finds the ultimate safe place in the Son.

As she says goodbye to me on Sunday, with a long and firm hug, I say "come back". She says "I know that I will".

More to come

This has been an educational and heart-wrenching half week. The visitors have been here since Wednesday, and are leaving tomorrow. I have fallen for one little boy with large blue eyes, and one quiet girl with dark eyes and thick dark hair. The quiet girl wishes she didn't have to leave this place. I would keep her if it were within my power to do so. I promised her that she would be back one day. Maybe once she is emancipated, she will head north.

I am beyond tired now, though. Tomorrow they leave and we head off to church, but none of us remembered the time change. I was reminded of it when I went on Robb's page to leave him a thank you note.

Once I thought that love and cookies could change a kid's life forever, and then I thought I was proven wrong. Now I meet these two, and it seems that love and cookies are all they are searching for, forever, and I have to wonder. Oh, but in the lovely girl with dark eyes' case, it's love and a nicely cooked steak hot off the barbecue. To think that a simple toy tractor and a black tee shirt bought at a concert could put a smile directly in a hurting young person's heart. It's one of those "ah ha" moments in life. Ah ha. God says "ah ha" to me.

Elizabeth moves in Wednesday. wOOt